


The Scars You Can't Forget

by Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec loves his boyfriend though and would never cheat, Cheating, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Not really though, cause he's a prick, don't read if you're a fan of Jace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 04:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14156877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story/pseuds/Once_Upon_A_Ghost_Story
Summary: Magnus wasn’t sure which part hurt the most, the fact that he had trusted Alec so much...Or that he couldn’t bring himself to open the door.





	The Scars You Can't Forget

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt - They wanted a cheating fic, but I'm not...a fan of those at all. I can't see Malec cheating on each other, so I just kinda improvised.

 

Magnus wasn’t sure what hurt most, the fact that he had trusted Alec so much only to be betrayed or that he couldn’t bring himself to open the door.

His hand was frozen over the door knob, the sound of bed creaking and moans that he had heard so many times over the years.

The knob was cold, unlike the hot tears that were dripping off his lashes. He covered his mouth, stifling the noises that he could feel rising from his chest.

Heart pounding against his chest as he stepped away, his shoulders shaking. Purple sparks of magic fluttered around his fingers, forming a large shimmering portal. He stepped through, unable to to bring himself to face it. Not again.

He couldn’t go through the heartbreak he felt after Camille, the self loathing, anger, _thoughts._

The couch was soft against his back when he laid down, collapsing completely against it. The familiar decor of Catarina’s house was comforting.

He was glad, to a point, that she wasn’t home. She was working a late shift at the hospital. Trying to explain this would be pointless, he knew what she would say.

The exact same thing Catarina said when he showed up at Ragnor’s house at 1:30 in the morning, his clothes disheveled and his face stained with tears. Makeup smeared over his eyes.

“ _She doesn’t deserve you.”_

_“She cheated, Magnus. You’re just going to get hurt again if you go back.”_

_“You deserve better than her.”_

And he knew that she would say the same thing now.

But deep down, he knew Alec was the best he was going to get.

He wasn’t going to lose that because of something like this. If he had to share Alec with strangers to keep him, then he would.

\----

Magnus stirred his whiskey with his pinky. Makeup was smeared around his eyes and dripped down his cheeks like tear stain, his hair was slightly damp on the sides from where the tears spilled over his temples while he was laying down.

It had been hours since he left the loft, and he knew that he needed to leave soon. He didn’t want to explain this to Cat, he didn’t want to bother her with this.

His phone rang for the fourth time and he sighed, leaning his head back. The ceiling wasn’t very interesting to stare at, but it was more interesting than looking at his phone.

He wanted to understand why Alec would do this...He wanted to understand what _he_ did wrong.

Throughout their relationship he’s progressively been trying to make Alec as happy as he could, trying his best.

But that wasn’t enough.

_He wasn’t enough._

A stray tear slid into his hairline.

\----

Magnus got up a few minutes later, washing off and reapplying his makeup all while his heart clentched painfully in his chest.

The phone buzzed against the counter and he flicked it on, opening up the messages.

_Love of my life_

_4:05PM - Hey, are you coming home soon?_

_5:26PM - Babe?_

_7:34PM - Are you okay?_

_8:17PM - Did something happen?_

_8:18PM - Are you hurt??_

His eyes watered and he looked up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly to try and push back the tears. Why did he have to do _this?_

With shaking fingers he wrote a message back.

 _8:20PM -_ **_I’m alright, love. I got caught up with work._ **

Maybe he could make this work. Alec seemed happy, he had been stressed and distant the past few days.

He ignored the voice in the back of his head that taunted him about the fact that the only thing that could make his boyfriend happy was to be in the arms of another.

He ignored the burning in his throat as he tried to swallow a shot.

_8:23PM - Oh, are you coming home now?_

_8:23PM -_ **_Yeah, I’m on my way._ **

Magnus sighed, running his finger across the message with sadness.

\---

Alec glanced up as he stepped out of the portal, his face lighting up at the sight of his boyfriend. Magnus froze, taking in the dark room that was only lit with candles. An elaborate streak dinner on the table with wine glasses on either side of the plates.

“Hey, babe.” Alec said, stepped up to him and kissing his forehead. A large bouquet of roses were held out in front of him.

“O-oh…” Magnus took them slowly, his fingers trembling. “For me?”

Alec chuckled, brushing his fingers against his cheek.

“Of course, I uh,” He glanced behind his shoulder and grinned. “Made dinner. It’s probably a little cold,” Alec frowned before smiling nervously at Magnus. “But I wanted to do something for you.” He wrapped his arms around him boyfriend’s waist, pecking him gently on the lips. “You’ve been working so hard lately. You deserve you be spoiled sometimes...all the time, really.” Alec said softly. “You deserve the world, Magnus.”

Magnus stared up at him, his eyes were wide and full of love.

“Oh, Alec.” He whispered, throwing his arms around his neck, burying his face into his shoulder for a moment before leaning up and kissing him hard on the mouth. Alec gripped his hips tightly, pressing their bodies closer together as he backed them up against the wall, trapping the other man with his arm.

Magnus pulled himself up easily, wrapping his legs around Alec’s waist. Alec held onto him by his thighs, digging his fingers into the skin as he sucked Magnus’ lower lip, nipping at it. Magnus raked his fingers through Alec’s hair and deepening the kiss with a hungry moan.

“As…” Alec chuckled, pulling back slightly while pressing quick, passionate pecks on his lips. “much as I would _love_ to continue this,” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. “We do have dinner to eat.” He said softly.

Magnus smiled at him, letting out a noise of displeasure, but unhooked his ankles and landing on his feet. He stroked the small hairs on the back of Alec’s neck.

“I suppose you’re correct, my love.”

Alec grinned at him, grabbing his hand and pulling him over to the table, pulling out his chair. Magnus flushed, giving him a loving look.

He ignored the voice that was almost screaming against his skull...that he wasn’t good enough, that despite everything, Alec still rejected him.

\---

Magnus had reheated the food with magic, sitting across from Alec with a smile that masked the small, sharp stings of pain.

Alec looked so happy and he couldn’t bring himself to bring up what he had heard. Because if that’s what Alec needs to be this happy, if..If Magnus _isn’t_ enough, then maybe he could accept that.

Maybe it was something wrong with him that made it so he wasn’t enough to make his partner happy.

Alec looked up at him with a smile, grabbing his hand.

“I love you so much.” Alec said dreamly and Magnus smiled softly at him.

But if this was all he could get, if he was too much or _wasn’t_ enough, then he would take it.

Because he loved Alec.

\----

It had been two weeks since that night and no matter how hard Magnus tried, he wasn’t able to keep his emotions completely in check. He had woken up in tears more times than he hated over the past few weeks and he could tell Alec was getting concerned.

He didn’t want to admit it though, he was scared.

What if he confronted Alec about what he heard...and Alec leaves him?

“Babe?”

Magnus looked down, playing with a chain that was hanging from his pants. He didn’t look behind him as the bed moved, Alec’s hand appeared on his shoulder.

“Hello, darling.” He said quietly, letting out a small sigh before looking up at Alec with a smile, but it fell flat. He couldn’t get the energy to _try_ to fake it.

Alec frowned, his eyes shining with worry as he moved so he was kneeling in front of Magnus, rubbing his knees comfortingly.

“Magnus, what’s going on?”

Magnus stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. Alec cupped his cheek.

“It’s nothing,” Magnus said softly, reaching out and brushing his fingers across Alec’s cheek. “I just…” He paused, closing his eyes.

“Magnus?”

“I heard something...a-a few weeks ago and I uh…”

Alec squeezed his knee comfortingly.

“It was the night t-that...You made dinner for us,” Magnus gave him a small smile. “I didn’t get caught up in work, I-I was at Cat’s...She wasn’t there, I just uh…” Magnus wiped away the tear that slid off his lashes.

“Babe?”

Magnus looked at him, a small feeling of confusion filling his mind. Alec didn’t look freaked out, just concerned.

He shifted nervously.

“H-have you ever cheated on me?” He asked quietly, watching Alec’s eyes go wide.

“W-what? Oh, Angel. No.” Alec said firmly, cupping both sides of Magnus’ face. “No, I would never do that.”

Magnus placed his hands over Alec’s, nodding slightly.

“Sorry, I-I didn’t mean to like...accuse you,”

Alec shook his head with a soft look.

“It’s okay, with your past experiences, I understand.” He leaned forward, kissing him gently on the lips. “It’s okay, babe.”

Alec stared at Magnus for a second before standing up, grabbing Magnus’ hand.

“C’mon,”

Magnus frowned.

“Where are we going?”

“I...I feel like you’re just accepting my answer, because you love me…”

Magnus let out a small sigh, looking down.

“But I really need you to understand that I will _never_ cheat on you.” Alec said, pulling out a small potion from one of the drawers, wiggling it slightly to show Magnus what it was.

“Oh, love, no. Y-You really don’t have to take that, it can have bad side effects.”

Alec stepped forward, kissing his forehead.

“But I can’t lie then. I want to erase the fear you’ve got, or at least start to.” Alec didn’t move until Magnus gave him a small nod and then he drank the small vial of blue liquid.

Magnus watched quietly as Alec grimaced at the taste of the truth potion.

“I-it should take affect...in a few minutes…” Magnus whispered.

Alec nodded, giving him a smile. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist.

“I want to do this, Magnus. Don’t feel guilty about this.”

Magnus gave him a soft look, leaning his forehead against Alec’s shoulder.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Just...how do you manage to know me so well?”

“Because I want to know you, I want to know everything single little thing about you. I want to know your favorite color and listen to you talk about what types of makeup you like best. I want to take care of you when you’re sick and cuddle you and make you soup a-and just...I want to love you. So much.” Alec pursed his lips and chuckled. “I think it’s working.” Alec smiled, squeezing his sides affectionately. “Ask me anything, honestly, babe.”

Magnus looked worried for a second before letting out a small breath.

“Have you ever cheated on me?”

“No.”

Magnus paused, biting his lip.

“Have you...ever thought a-about cheating on me? O-or like...prefer anyone romantically over me?” He asked awkwardly. “That sounds weird…”

“I’ve never, ever thought about cheating on you. And honestly, kitten.” He tilted Magnus’ chin up, kissing his nose lightly. “Why would I prefer anyone over you? Like...everyone, compared to you, is like raggy doormat. You’re an actual,” He motioned at Magnus, his mouth twitching with a dreamly smile. “Statue of perfection. Everyone is a downgrade compared to you.”

Magnus covered his mouth, his eyes watering.

“You’re everything to me. I would rather carve my arm off than even think about cheating on you.”

Magnus’ shoulders shook and he threw himself on Alec, burying his face into his neck.

“So-sorry.”

Alec let out a breathy laugh. “It’s okay,”

“N-No one’s ever said that...to me…”  Magnus pulled back, rubbing his eyes and ignoring the dark smudges of makeup on his hands. “Or anything close to that…” He whispered.

Alec stared at him fondly.

“Everyone’s stupid. And blind, apparently. You deserve everything in the world, Magnus. Constantly.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Magnus gave him a loving smile.

“Exist. All you had to do is exist.”

“I…”

Alec ran his hands through Magnus’ soft hair, humming to himself.

“You look like you want to ask me something,” He whispered a minute later and Magnus raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t want to take advantage of this.”

Alec shrugged.

“I don’t mind, I choose to do this. I want you to feel comfortable asking me things.”

Magnus smiled fondly up at him, rubbing Alec’s biceps.

“I love you…”

“I love you too, babe.” Alec said softly, cupping his cheeks and kissing him.

Magnus opened his mouth to say something when the door to the loft opened and Jace walked in, throwing his jacket onto the couch.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?” He sat on edge of the chair and looked at them curiously.

Alec stared at him for a second.

“The ceiling, and the sky.”

Jace frowned at him, giving him a weird look.

“Okaaay...Well, anyway, Magnus, Clary wanted me to ask you if you could portal us to Paris this weekend?”

Magnus raised an eyebrow at him, brushing the small hairs on the back of Alec’s neck.

“Are you planning on paying me? Because that’s a lot of work for no pay.” Magnus said, hearing Alec let out a small laugh.

“Oh c’mon, don’t we get like a discount?”

“Why would you get a discount?”

“Because you’re dating my brother.”

“Which means that _he_ gets a discount.” Magnus said with a shrug.

Jace frowned, looking over at Alec.

“Dude?”

“What?”

“Help me out here, come on.”

Alec sighed, looking down at Magnus and kissing his forehead.

“Is the price lower now?”

Magnus laughed quietly and shook his head. Alec let out a drastic sigh and looked over at Jace with a shrug.

“I tried.”

“Wha- Dude, what’s with you?” Jace snapped, pushing himself off the arm of the couch.

“Nothing’s with me, I mean technically Magnus is since I’m holding him, and the incredible love I have for him.”

Magnus placed a hand on Alec’s chest and glanced at Jace.

“He took a truth potion, that’s why he’s answering everything.”

“What the hell? Why would he do that?” Jace snapped, standing up and looking accusingly at Magnus, who gave him a dark look.

“Because he wanted to.”

“Doubtful, Alec’s never trusted those things.”

“ _Alec’s_ right here and you could just _ask_ me.” Alec snapped, stepped forward some.

“I’m just saying, that’s not like you.”

Alec glared at his parabatai, crossing his arms.

“I choose to take the potion.” Alec said firmly, scrunching his eyebrows and  glancing at Magnus.

“Wait, babe. Didn’t you say you heard someone? A few weeks ago?”

Magnus looked slightly taken aback from the change of subject, but nodded nonetheless.

“Yeah…” He said quietly. He had been trying to beat down the fading depressed feeling in his chest.

“You were the only one in the loft before I showed up.” Alec pointed at Jace as he turned to look at him.

“Yeah, so?”

“Did you have a girl over here?”

Jace shifted on his feet nervously before shrugging.

“I’m a guy, is it a crime to hook up now?”

“Yeah, when you’re living in _our_ house and we’ve told you to take it somewhere else.” Alec leaned forward. “You can fuck as many girls as you want when you’ve got your own damned house and bedroom.”

“I’m living here!”

“Wait.” Magnus put his hand on Alec’s chest to calm him down for a moment, halting the response. “The noises I heard were from _our_ room. Why were you sleeping with someone in our room?”

“I didn’t notice which room I ended up in at first, the girl was pushy and she just wanted to get going.” Jace smirked, shrugging it off. “It’s not that big of a deal, jeez.”

Alec blinked slowly, running a hand through his hair before he turned and walked down the hallway towards the room Jace had been staying in.

“Darling?”

Alec didn’t respond as he threw the door open hard enough for it to bounce off the wall. He grabbed random handfuls of shirts out of the closet and threw them at his brother, who was standing in the doorway.

“What the hell, dude?! You can’t be serious!”

“Do I look like I’m kidding? We’ve both told you to stop bringing girls back here, and you turn around and, _not only,_ bring one home, you fucked her in _my boyfriend and I’s bed._ ” Alec glanced at Magnus. Magnus shrugged, looking at the stunned blond.

Alec returned to what he was doing as he emptied out the closet and the drawers, dumping all the clothes onto the ground by Jace. He stepped by both of them, grabbing a trash bag out of the bathroom and pressed it roughly against Jace’s chest.

“Get. Out.”

Alec stepped over to Magnus and grabbed his hand.

“Anything that’s not gone in the next 10 minutes, I’m putting in the firepit outside.” He didn’t wait for Jace to respond, just left the room without letting go of his boyfriend’s hand.

“Are you sure about this? He’s your brother, and para-”

Alec shook his head, turning and looking at him.

“He crossed the line. I mean, he’s gotten close _way_ too many times since he moved in, but none of those times had consequences like this.”

“I don’t want to cause problems between you two, darling. I’ll be okay.”

“You’re not, babe.” Alec cupped his face gently, kissing his nose softly. “If he wants to be pissed at me for kicking him out, then that’s on me, but I’m not going to regret it. He doesn’t get to just walk all over you because _I’m_ dating you.” He paused. “Was I out of line? Kicking him out? It-it’s your house and ultimately your decision.”

Magnus smiled, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck.

“I mean, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved.”

Alec relaxed a bit.

“ We should probably replace that bed though.” Magnus said a few seconds later and Alec laughed.

“Yeah, that’s for sure. Do you think we could go shopping for one?” Magnus raised an eyebrow. “What? I...I want to have that like... buying furniture experience with you.”

“I would be more than happy to go shopping with you.”

Alec grinned.

“I love you, babe.”

“I love you too, Alexander.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed, please let me know if you did, even if it's just a heart or a good job!! It means the world to me!! <3


End file.
